This Week

This week has actually been pretty emotional for me. I am glad that I had the absurd plumbing issues to bring a bit of humor into my week. As you know, it doesn't take much to send me over the crying edge and this week has been a doozey.

Sunday morning was baby dedication. I think I would have been fine if I could have mentally prepared myself, but I had no clue it was going to take place. I started off OK but the longer the pastor spoke the more I could feel the tears coming. I tried really hard to fight them off and to focus on the meaning and the happy occasion but I couldn't. Finally, I knew it was going to get ugly and I quietly left while the congregation prayed. I hated that. I hated the fact that I could not sit there like a normal person and offer my prayers and support at that time. It was like the wound was fresh and I completely lost control of my emotions. All I knew to do was go into the bathroom, regain my composure, and pray to God for peace and strength.

Tuesday morning started with taking Matt to school. Out of the blue, he says "Mommy, I really really want a baby brother or sister." How do you respond to that? Of course, the tears welled up again and I said that was something we would have to pray about.

On Wednesday I had the HSG test done. I had built this up in my head so much that I was a nervous wreck! Thankfully, it was not near as bad as I had prepared for and the doctor said everything looked fine. After the test, I had to go by my other doctor's office and pick up my records. I decide it would be a good idea to read everything. Of course, it wasn't. I finally get to the page that talks about the details of our miscarriage. So you can imagine how I reacted to reading the information.

Anyways, I'm sorry if this was a depressing post. Reread the last two if you need a good laugh.