Letting Go

This is our garage.

Yesterday morning it did not look like this. The garage sale fairy visited us yesterday afternoon and brought all of our goodies out of the attic. About 75% of this stuff is Matt's; baby clothes, toys, gear, and whatever else you need to raise a child.

I saved every single thing this kid had from birth to about 4 years old. Not to be sentimental but because I thought we would use it again. When we decided to get pregnant with Matt it was so easy that I thought it would just happen again. After three losses, God obviously has other plans.

Up until about 4 months ago I really fought Him about His plans. I desperately wanted another child. Poor Richard, I think half of our conversations revolved around growing our family. My life was an emotional roller coaster spent crying, praying, and getting angry about the fact we were unable to have any more children. I wanted answers and I wanted them now!

Well, I could only live like that for so long before I hit my breaking point. Unfortunately for Richard, that was when we started cleaning up the garage during Christmas break. I had set more of Matt's old clothes and toys into the garage to be taken up to the attic when Richard suggested the unthinkable: give it to the Goodwill.

You would of thought he said burn everything and stick needles in my eyes. In my mind I was thinking how dare he!! I am saving all of this stuff for our next child! Why would we give it away?? It took me a few minutes but I finally lost it. And by lost it, I mean LOST IT. I think I had about four years of hurt and frustrations bottled up inside that finally came spilling out. I cried and cried and cried. To keep a long story short, I cried, we talked, and finally came to some decisions.

We have decided to let go of trying to have another child. I can't explain it very well, but when we decided this, I felt an almost instant peace come over me. If my life and God's will were magnets, I feel like for the past few years, I have been pressing the wrong side towards him. Does that make any sense?? For the first time, I have truly given this part of my life to Him. I thought I had, but I realize I was just fooling myself.

This weekend I attended our church's ladies retreat (which I will post about later) and had one of "those" moments during worship. Friday night we sang "I Am Free". I can't tell you how many times I have heard this song on the radio but when I sang it Friday, I just about came out of my skin because I finally feel that way!

Through you the blind will see
Through you the mute will sing
Through you the dead will rise
Through you all hearts will praise
Through you the darkness flees
Through you my heart screams
I am free
Yes, I am free

I AM FREE TO RUN
(I AM FREE TO RUN)
I AM FREE TO DANCE
(I AM FREE TO DANCE)
I AM FREE TO LIVE FOR YOU
(I AM FREE TO LIVE FOR YOU)
I AM FREE
(I AM FREE)
YES I AM FREE
(I AM FREE)

Through you the kingdom comes
Through you the battle's won
Through you I'm not afraid
Through you the price is paid
Through you there's victory
Because of you my heart sings
I am free
Yes, I am free

I love the line that says "through you the darkness flees, through you my heart screams, I am free, yes, I am free".

So with all that being said, I was able to go up into the attic yesterday and drag down ALL of Matt's baby stuff without having a nervous breakdown. It's embarrassing how much stuff we have. In a few minutes I will go out to the garage and begin the long process of sorting. Don't worry, I will keep some things. Hopefully just one box as opposed to 7 or 8.

The really great thing is all the money we make will go toward our trip back to Haiti this summer. I can't think of a better reason why to sell all this stuff.

Why I deserve "Mother of the Year"

I promise, this is the last mention of Disney World. I am sure you are sick of it , but I did save the "best" for last.

Remember when I mentioned that Matt got scared on the Stitch ride at Magic Kingdom? Well, that was an understatement.

He was pretty much traumatized. You can read about the ride here. Seems pretty harmless except I missed the part that says "may be frightening to young children" and "madcap show for big kids, teens, and adults". I think I only saw "fun for everyone". Oops.

In a nutshell, you are strapped into a seat that has speakers, air jets and water jets around your head (but you do not know this) and the lights go COMPLETELY out while the alien Stitch is running around destroying everything in the room and messing with you. Are you getting the picture? Can you guess what happened?

Matt freaked out. The lights not only went out but the little critter was breathing on his neck, spitting in his face, and bouncing on his seat. I felt horrible and like the worst parent in the world. He did survive and, oddly enough, became obsessed with Stitch.

After this ride, he refused to go into another building. He wouldn't even go on Buzz Light Years Space Ranger Spin and I know he would have loved it! He rode Stitch's Great Escape about 2 in the afternoon and the only other attractions he did was the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House and the Jungle Cruise. He even got scared on the Jungle Cruise when we entered the dimly lit cave.

The next day at Hollywood Studios, he only did the Honey I Shrunk the Kids play area, Back Lot Tour, and Jedi Training Academy because they were outside. At EPCOT on Sunday we finally convinced him to go into the Seas building and he rode Nemo and Turtle Talk with Crush (which is super cute). When we got in line for Soaring, he tried to convince us to get out of line but I said no way (it's the best attraction at Disney!) At this point, he was finally feeling brave again and he agreed to ride Journey into the Imagination with Figment. It took much convincing and promising by mom that it was not scary. We even asked before we sat down in the car if it was scary and dark and they assured us it was not.

Well, guess what. According to Matt, they lied. It was not scary but it did get dark and was very loud. He got off that ride very unhappy with me. Of course, after that episode, no more buildings that day either.

On Monday, we concluded with Universal Studios Islands of Adventure.( If you are a coaster junkie, this is a must do in Orlando. The Hulk is A-Ma-Zing!) Matt had a great time and enjoyed his first roller coaster and log ride. While we were waiting for he and Rich to finish the log ride, I struck up a conversation with a dad who was also waiting for his kids. He told me about this great river ride that was not scary and didn't even go in the dark. You just got really really wet. I asked where and he pointed in the direction of the only boat ride I was aware of: Jurassic Park River Adventure. Matt got off the log ride pumped and agreed to ride with me because, once again, I promised it was not scary but it had a big drop like the log ride.

So. We hopped on board and began the fun little river tour. Half way through, the boat makes a sharp turn into the "restricted" area and Matt immediately spotted a building with an entrance large enough for our boat. Was he happy about that? Nope.

We enter the building and of course there are not lights. Sirens are flashing, things are exploding, and all you could hear was the deafening sound of a t-rex roaring.

It was awesome.

Not.

By this point, I told Matt to close his eyes and it would all be over in a minute. Then I remembered the huge drop. So amidst all the chaos, I look up ahead and realize we are floating toward a giant T-Rex and the drop is just below his head. I thought to myself he is going to flip out because it looks like that thing is going to eat us and then we are going to fall right after.

So I scream as fast as I can to Matt "Don't look but in case you do, there is a giant t-rex up ahead and he looks like he is going to eat you but he wont and then we have the big drop so hold on. Just keep your eyes shut!"

Here is what we were floating towards. I didn't take this by the way, Universal did :)

That's one bad looking dude. Especially to a 6 year old. Especially when you are sailing into his mouth. And especially when you plunge 85 feet down in the dark!

Poor Matt.

I came off that ride feeling like the worst mom ever!! I cannot begin to express how bad I felt for him. He was so made at me and the dad who told us about the ride.

You want to know the really stupid part of the story. I was confused and didn't realize there was another boat ride. The ride that the dad was telling me about was a raft ride featuring sweet little Popeye the sailor man.

That's right, we were suppose to ride Popeye and Bluto's Bilge-Rat Barge instead of the Jurassic Park River Adventure! Talk about a mistake.

Needless to say, by the end of our vacation I felt like "Mother of the Year". I'm sure Matt would of had a few choice words to say at the award presentation. Even though there were some crazy moments, we still had a great time and made some amazing(and unexpected) memories.

What about you? Had any "mother of the year" moments lately?

Jedi Training Academy

I mentioned the other day that Matt participated in the Jedi Training Academy at Disney Hollywood Studios. This was by far the coolest thing he did!

When you go, you have to find the sign up area first thing and hope you are not too late. We signed him up around 9:45 and barely got him on the list for the last show at 4:45! The premise of the show is the kids are young padawans receiving instruction when the two evil DArth Vader and Maul interrupt. Their goal is to persuade the kids to join the dark side and fight with them but of course, the kids fight against them with the assistance of their Jedi master.

Before the show started, Matt had the choice of fighting Vader or Maul and for some crazy reason, he picked Darth Maul. I found this incredibly ironic since everything scared him and Maul is one evil looking dude. HOwever, he was a brave padawan and did his job well.

The show was very well done and even had a voice over of Yoda at the end congratulating the young ones. That was pretty amusing because you only heard the voice and all of the kids (and a few grown ups) got very excited because they thought he would appear.

* Don't forget to mute the music at the bottom*

Disney World

We left for Disney World on Matt's birthday. Not sure if this was a great idea because it set a whole new birthday standard!! Actually, we didn't have a choice because this is when Richard scheduled his spring trip with his students. Matt just lucked out.

Speaking of luck, the picture above is at our hotel. The sweet lady who checked us in made a fuss when she saw Matt's birthday pin and brought balloons and chocolate cake up to our room.

We spent Friday at Magic Kingdom. He cashed in on the birthday and received a pin at the ticket booth. I bought him a pair of Mickey ears and he chose the birthday theme. Smart kid.

First ride of the day, Dumbo. I've been to Disney four times and this was my first time to ride.

I love this picture because it captures the awe that we all experience at Disney. I took this on the Winnie the Poo ride.

BUZZ!!!!!
The funny thing was Matt thought his face looked weird. At first, he wanted to get out of line because he did not like the way he looked. I told him that was not an option and nicely said he would like Buzz's face because we waited a long time :)

Hollywood studios

Matt really got into the Disney pins. This is the first cast member he traded with.

Meeting Mickey :) For some stupid reason I got a little teary.

Stitch!! I have a long story for another day about Matt and Stitch. Let me just say that we rode Stitch's Great Escape in Magic Kingdom and he would not go into another building to ride an attraction for two days! The ride scared the pants off him but at the same time he became obsessed with Stitch. Strange.

Honey I Shrunk the Kids play area. This was amazing!!

I think we spent over an hour at this play area.

Nothing like ice cream Mickey Mouse ears. Yum!!

Lightening and Mater! Their eyes moved back and forth, engines revved, and they talked. Very cool.

Jedi training academy. More pictures and story later.

Finding N.emo at Epcot

We were lucky enough to be there for HGTV Garden show at Epcot. The flowers were AMAZING!!!

It was three days after his birthday and he was still wearing his birthday ears :) He scored that day because they brought him desert at Le Chefs du France and sang Happy Birthday in French.

His first coaster!!! The Hippogriff in Harry Potter land at Universal Islands of Adventure. I wish I would have taken more pictures of this area because it was amazing. I felt like I was walking in a Harry Potter set. The only problem was the crowd!! They actually shut this part of the park down because it reached capacity (at 10am!!) and you had to get a return ticket to enter the area later. The main ride, Harry Potter the Forbidden Journey, was incredible. It is the best ride I have ever been on!!

Riding the log ride with daddy. Notice the drop toward the top of the picture; I think we have a coaster junkie on our hands.

My two wet boys after the log ride :)

Menu Monday

Here is the menu for the next two weeks. I love it when I am ahead of the game!!

Dinners:

Chicken Tortilla Soup

Roasted Balsamic Chicken and pancetta brussel sprouts

Paula Dean's Spaghetti Bake (this is a favorite in our house) and roasted asparagus

Crock popt pinto beans with black skillet corn bread

Bean and Cheese burritos and salad

Frozen pizza or whatever Rich wants to make because I will be at ladies retreat!!!!

Meat loaf and baked potatoes

Crock pot roast with veggies

Oven roasted chicken breast and green beans

Hamburgers

Homemade pizza

Breakfast:

I need to make a big batch of waffles and pancakes so I can freeze the leftovers and use on school mornings.

Banana muffins

Dessert/Snacks:

Cookies

Vanilla pudding

Maybe a batch of scones too.

The Lego King's 6th Birthday

Matt celebrated his 6th birthday almost two weeks ago. Yes, I am late with pictures but we have been Busy. Busy with a capital B!

Since he is the Lego king, the obvious theme was Legos. We kept the party simple by having it at the park. We are park-party kind of people; 3 of his 6 birthday parties have been at a park. I don't have to worry about a clean house, it is free, and the kids can get as crazy as their parents will let them.

The food and decor was kept simple too: cake, candy, fruit, cheese,crackers, and summer sausage. I made marshmallow pops that looked like Lego heads. I think some of the grown ups were confused by these, but the kids knew what they were. I was going to try to make a Lego brick cake but that started to turn into a disaster. I moved to plan B and just iced a simple cake and used the million Legos that we have for decorations. We made the big 6 for his invitation and used that on the cake as well. The kids went home with pinata candy and little bags of Lego brick candy.

The pictures are in no particular order.