School has officially started which means Matt will begin his activities soon. For some reason, choosing activities for Matt has been very stressful this time. Last year I enrolled him into preschool with no regrets. (Probably because his teacher was a good friend and I knew he would be loved). This year has been a whole different experience.
First, because of the move, we did not make arrangements for preschool early on; we decided to wait and see. By the end of July we knew Matt was ready for some kind of group setting and needed to spend time with other kids. I started calling around to different church schools but soon hit a wall, they were all full with a waiting list.
I had also been thinking of other group activities he could participate in like Kindermusik or gymnastics. I finally found a gymnastic class he could join and they even offered a free trial. Matt tried it out a couple of Saturdays ago and loved it. We signed him up and I didn't think much about it because I would be staying with him.
Around the same time we learned of a Mother's Day Out program that came recommended and had space. I called and decided to enroll him only one day a week since he had gymnastics another day. For some reason, I have been struggling with sending him someplace by himself whether it's preschool or MDO. The first day I went to turn his forms in I pulled into the parking lot and looked around, then left; I could not bring myself to get out of the car. This is very strange for me because I am usually the parent trying to send Matt off. I am assuming this has to do with us moving and feeling unsure about our surroundings. A few days later Matt and I took the forms back and met the director. I think Matt would have stayed then if I would have let him. I remember when we were leaving that no one there knew Matt or what kind of a funny kid he is.
It's kind of weird and hard to explain. Back in Brenham it seemed like everyone knew him before he was even born. Once he was born, he just grew up in front of everyone and we were friends with almost everyone who came into contact with him: Sunday school teachers, pediatrician, MDO director/teachers, preschool teacher. Now, no one knows him and how special he is . I guess I am having one of those mother moments where I don't want my child treated like another part of the pack.
I think it also comes down to the fact that we have never felt so vulnerable before. Brenham was such a small town that we knew everyone and their business. We never felt like we were dealing with strangers; instead it felt more like family. Now, everyone we come into contact with is a stranger and I find myself being suspicious of everyone.
Well, I have whined long enough and I didn't mean to get so sappy. Oops, I guess that is what happens when you are stuck at home without a car.
4 comments:
i would doubt that you are alone in your feelings. i can't imagine handing over my girls to anyone i didn't know, so let yourself off the hook a little. blame it on motherly instincts and intuition or hormones or anything!! i find myself second guessing everyone who watches the newest little one, and we know who all of them are. i will be praying for you.
Those sound like natural feelings to me, too. And you're not whining. You know what, though? Those people won't be strangers for long. And it won't take them long to fall in love with Matt. And he knows a Coconut when he sees one! And that's a good thing.
Trust God to take care of everything. I remember the first day I left you at Neyland,s. I called so much she finally ask me not to call, she would call me if there was a problem. Guess what, you cried to stay there and not go home, then I cried. Your feelings are very normal. I would be really worried if you acted unconcerned. Take it one day at time and TRUST GOD.
m
Send him to Nanas I"ll love him and younwont have to worry one litle bit
Post a Comment